Friday: Arts and Crafts @ Indy

N had art at Indy today. They made Chinese fish kites and paper lanterns in honor of Chinese New Year. She had a little too much fun with the glue!


Her finished fish kite. The lantern wouldn't photograph well :(

Cooking and cleaning can wait till tomorrow,
For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow.
So settle down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I'm nursing my baby and babies don't keep.
-Unknown

Just popping in to show everyone the simplicity of sisterly love.





I'll be back to blog later.

Shadow

N is adorable. She's like my little shadow. She wants to be doing exactly what I'm doing WHEN I'm doing it. Folding and sorting laundry, washing dishes, cooking.. I love it.


I feel so silly questioning my "beliefs" and general philosophy yesterday. I'm still a bit iffy but I do know the general way that I feel about things. Take it or leave it. I still don't believe in a "conventional" diety (God, Jesus Christ, Buddha, etc.), but I'm firm on my ground that I feel very in-tune with nature. This is more philosophical as I don't feel the need to WORSHIP the earth.. but I do feel that we should love and respect the natural world we live in.

Confused, Frustrated, need some guidance.

This blog might be a bit splotchy and rambling, and I do apologize in advance. This is all coming out of my need to find a better parent in myself, exploring the "Waldorf" way of parenting, and therefore questioning my religious and philosophical beliefs. Here we go...

For the longest time I've considered myself to be an athiest, or at the least mildy agnostic. I have come to realize that my beliefs (lack thereof, really) are just based on my rejection of the notion that there's some guy in the sky who's going to send me into a firey place to punish me, but still loves me. There's more to that, but that's the gist of it. I comfortably reject conventional Christianity. My mother was Lutheran and in her mind there was a God who she looked to for strength.. but she was never gung-ho on anything. We never went to church. I was enrolled in an evangelical pioneer girls club at a church and attended vacation bible school for a few years, but that was mainly for social purposes and my mother sent me there for that reason. I've never jumped into the depths of Buddhism or Islam, so I can't say how I feel about them too much. I do know that from what I know about them, their "key aspects" do not fit me.
When I was around 12 or 13, I began exploring Wicca and Paganism.. I found them quite wonderful.. I loved the emphasis on the earth. Now, i don't feel that I should "worship" the earth as a diety per-se, but I do feel very connected to nature and have a love for it (and always have had). I then moved on to high school and became too busy to focus on everything- I was a kid and had alot going on.. mother having a massive brain bleed during my Freshman year and then being diagnosed with lung cancer that eventualy manifested her brain and bones and who knows what else.. she passed away junior year... got transpanted to the south side with my dad, oh, and had a baby on top of that. I was... busy.

Now, I'm not so busy. I've got two children, and a husband who feels almost the way that I do regarding religion, only that he doesn't feel the connection to nature and just quietly considers himself an athiest or mildy agnostic as I put it. I see flaws in my parenting. I've always been quite natural minded, and really want to give that much to my children.

I began exploring parenting styles, seeing which categories I fit into and which qualities i'd like to adapt and adopt into my own parenting style. I also searched for homeschooling "mantras" as I'm hoping to homeschool my children. I then stumbled across Waldorf. I'm still learning alot so forgive me if I come accross as ignorant.

I firmly believe that children learn by doing, and agree that children learn by imitation. I don't know about the anthroposophical aspect of it though- I'm actually going to stop this blogright here because I feel the utter need to do more research before I open my trap.

Fotos

M and N


N coloring


M after nursing, lol.

Warm weather, where art thou?/Medicaid Rant/THRUSH!!

I'm totally sick of snow. Snow, slush, ugliness. It's a truly beautiful thing when it's crisp and clean on the ground.. but when it gets to the point where you have to tiptoe around your parked car to get in it to avoid getting crap all over your pant legs and inside your socks... it's time to say buhbye to the cold and snow. According to the weatherman, we're supposed to be in the upper 30s this entire week. I wish with all my heart we'd go up to the 40s.. so I could throw N in the stroller and pop M in the moby.. and just walk. To Walgreens for my prescription. To Target to get N some shoes or whatever else we need.. or to Jewel for milk. I just feel like I have 100% dependence on everybody else. I'm 19, mother of two, cam't drive and doesn't even own a car. I don't even own a bike! Tax money is unfortunately going to the bills because we got carried away last year and had to buy everything to get us moved into our new home. We also bought a new bed, fridge, TV, among other things. We're pretty far in the hole. And we need a car. NEED NEED NEED.

And now, for the promised Medicaid rant. Back in early December, I spent two days for a total of 8 hours (or more) in that office. They had sent me a letter stating they were going to cut my coverage and they needed proof of pregnancy. So, I walked my 38 week pregnant butt in there and gave them all they wanted to know. Caseworker said I'd be fine and I was still covered. FAST FORWARD to yesterday afternoon. I saw a letter from DHS and thought it was hubby's approval. Nope. They said they're cutting me off 2/1/10. WTH? So I called the caseworker. Mailbox is full. I called their supervisor. MAILBOX IS FULL. So I've got to spend next week straightening sh-t out.

Egh, anyways... M and I have THRUSH!! NOO!!
Yeah. We do. And it sucks. We're on Nystatin and diflucan and I'm walking around topless. Fun fun fun...